Tuesday, August 28, 2007
its good to be back! and danceless! haha.. i'm really glad the whole ordeal is over.. Although i say ordeal, now that its over i don't look back at the whole experience as something extremely uncalled for. In fact i'm glad i had a chance to be part of the production, as cliched as it sounds! But that also does not mean i'm gonna jump at the next opportunity to par take in another major production. I'm human enough to realise a break is much needed.. from dance and other committments alike. I cursed and swore, wept and pleaded, sacrificed and bled (ok fine 'blue-blacked' would be more apt but i like some drama ;) ), stumbled and got mocked at, fought and feared.. I'd say ive been through it all, my all at least. And i know i couldnt wait for the end, all of us counting down to the last performance, a little more eagerly as each day passed. We literally dragged ourselves to practice every day, always wondering why we succumbed to such torturous ways.. Even during practices and run-throughs, i felt like i'd left my soul behind, while my body, alone, danced. my legs were moving along to the familarity of the tune while my heart watched from afar. i was void of emotion. We had gone through the process way too many times for us to actually enjoy what we were doing anymore. What was meant to be an expression through dance became a silent suffering of the soul. I kid not, neither am i exaggerating, much :) well, i'm suprised with all this negativity and contempt, which the familiarity famously bred, God actually took our side and each one of the four performances, touched our hearts and it was more than just us tired dancers on stage struggling to meet our teachers' and even the audience's expectations.. Maybe it was the stage lights that created the atmosphere, or even the excitement of being on stage (nahhhh). Maybe it was the fact that we'd worked so hard that we wanted the performance to be our best effort ever. Or maybe, just maybe, there was a certain force that made each show a success, something beyond anything imaginable or explainable.. Something that made you realise you're there for a higher purpose. Something that opened doors to our souls.. Something that made it all worth it.. Well, i can safely say that all 7 of us who took part, no matter how much we whined, complained and hated every second of the past 2 months, will realise at the end of it all, that to taste the sweet, we had to face the pain. And you know what? i'm glad i did.
The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of..
